Recharging ...

We're taking a break this year.  Last year was a rough, tiring year.  Between Lyme Disease, My dad's passing, my knee surgery, and run away pigs we were not at all looking forward to our busy season this year.  After talking about the pros and cons Ryan and I decided we needed a year off to recharge.  We didn't get any calves or pigs this year.  We have one steer that will be butchered this fall for ourselves and we have a few chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese - and the garden.  My mom and step dad raised us a hog that is already done and in the freezer.  My posts have been few and far between - I'm enjoying summer with the kids. Playing outside and in the pool.  Spending Wednesdays at my moms pool for her day off with my sister and nieces  Doing a lot of reading on my Nook Color and swimming in our pool.  The garden is a little overrun with weeds at the moment but once we get some rain I'll get that taken care of - lots of veges in there - the pumpkin, zucchini, and cucumber plants are loving our hot humid days.  Last weekend we had a big party at the cabin in honor of Dad - we didn't eat much of corn I bought so we brought it home.  Danica and I shucked, blanched, and cut it off the cobs and stuffed it in freezer bags this morning while Sawyer was at VBS. 80 ears of corn = 16 -3 cup bags. 

My little grocery shopper

Danica is such a good helper.  She LOVES helping with the shopping.  She helps push the cart and gets things off the shelves and puts them in the cart.  She even likes to get in the cart to help unload it onto the belt when we check out :) We did however miss the cart with a jar of pizza sauce near the front door.  "CLEAN UP AT THE ENTRANCE"  Danica bent down and pointed - "Uh Oh!"  Mommy was a little red in the face.

Busy, busy, busy!!

I have taken an unplanned break from blogging.  I just haven't had it in me to upload pics and type and yada, yada.  So some pictures and videos from the last couple months...

We spent a weekend up at Dad's helping Jake pour the patio.






We weren't able to order a headstone fast enough and we have to wait for a spring setting. I didn't want to leave his grave site unmarked through winter so I bought some stencils, paint, and sealer and painted this rock I found at Dad's.



I threw a baby shower (with help from some friends) for my best friend Barbie. Allora will be here at the beginning of February and we're all anxiously waiting. We had a great turn out at the shower!









We waited until 4o'clock for Landon to get off the bus to cut our tree. We had a harder time finding one than we expected and ended up cutting one based on the silhouette against the overcast sky because it got dark so quickly. When we got it up to the house it had a huge (unhide-able) bare spot. We quickly called friends of ours who own a tree farm and they had one cut tree left. Ryan ran over and got it so we could decorate yet that night. Always an adventure around here :)





Danica cheesin' as hard as she can at Grandma Margaret's early Christmas





Danica getting the hang of opening present by herself



And we've been busy with lots of little kid Christmas concerts!

Sawyer's Church Program



And Preschool

Propane costs what???!!!

The snow is starting to fly around here so we enjoyed some of the last fall weather Friday while we finished splitting and stacking our winter wood supply. Danica played and Sawyer ran the wood splitter for me.

My "One Thousand Gifts"

27 has been a rough year.  At one of our women's prayer groups we talked about looking for things to be thankful for even in the tough, trying times.  We were supposed to read a book called One Thousand Gifts. The week after I got the book dad took his life. I couldn't bring myself to read it. But through all of that and this knee surgery I've had it in the back of my mind.  I hope the ladies are still passing it around because I think I'm ready to read it.  When Jayne (the one leading our prayer group) described the book to us she said the author had fallen away from God somewhat (much like myself for awhile) and then someone dared her to make a list of one thousand gifts from God even in the midst of some horrible things she'd been through.

From Amazon.com - Just like you, Ann Voskamp hungers to live her one life well. Forget the bucket lists that have us escaping our everyday lives for exotic experiences. 'How,' Ann wondered, 'do we find joy in the midst of deadlines, debt, drama, and daily duties? What does the Christ-life really look like when your days are gritty, long--and sometimes even dark? How is God even here?' In One Thousand Gifts, Ann invites you to embrace everyday blessings and embark on the transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling God's gifts. It's only in this expressing of gratitude for the life we already have, we discover the life we've always wanted...a life we can take, give thanks for, and break for others.

So today on my 28th birthday I'm starting my list.  I will add to it periodically.

1- God led me to a church and a pastor who believes and preaches what I have believed in my heart for a long time.  He knew it would renew and restrengthen my faith.  So I would be closer to Him when things got really bad this year.

2- Because of the hard things that have happened this year my love for Ryan has become deeper than I could have ever imagined.  He knows me more perfectly than I ever realized or could have hoped for.  When to be my rock and when to let me do my thing.  When to push me a little further than I'd like to go and when to help even when I'm being stubborn and hard headed if I think I can do it on my own.  I can't imagine how I could love him more.

3- Landon, my big boy, is so helpful.  He is my right hand man.  Helping unquestioningly (most of the time) with chores, household duties, even changing diapers. If he doesn't know how to do something he's willing to try. I've seen him grow so much this year.  From one of my 3 babies to my oldest son, a young man already.

4- Sawyer, my baby boy, knows just when I need someone to crawl into my lap for a snuggle.  He, too, has grown up so much this year and is the big boy, helping, when Landon isn't here.

5- Danica, my little mini me.  I wanted a little girl so bad.  I think she pulls every clip and bow I put in her hair out just to spite me.  She truly is my joy.  She is always happy and never fails to put a smile on my face even when I think there can't possibly be a smile anywhere inside of me.

6- Amber, Heather, and Jake.  My sisters and brother.  I can't even put into words tonight how thankful I am for the way we grew up.  Its a very long, not so great story that tore us apart and brought us together, many times over, until we finally realized the four of us were what we would always need.  Who we could count on to be there unconditionally...if we needed to cry, a hundred dollars to get us to pay day, someone to stand vigil at our hospital bedside, to bail us out of jail at 3am, someone to laugh about turd fishing in the tub with, or to hide a body (just joking...sorta)  That childhood prepared us for this year.  For July 21st.  When all the world crashed around us we stood strong together.  When it was too much for one of us, the rest of us held that one up.  Truly all for one and one for all in every sense of the words.

7- My Mom!  Who would have ever thought that I would be HER mini me?  My mom and I have quite the history.  I'm not going to go into that either.  Today she and I can complete each other's thoughts.  We are so much alike its scary.  When no one else seems to understand I can call Mom and I don't even have to finish a sentence and she knows just what I'm feeling and just what to say.  Funny how when I was younger I thought there was no way we could be more different.

8- My Dad ~ He always said "There is something to be said about being a good person"  I hope when I die people think I'm half the good person he was.  That lesson is why I help people unconditionally, without expectations.  Why I forgive so easily.  Why I trust people more than they sometimes deserve.  Why I work so hard and strive to do the best I can.  And why I'm hard on myself when I know I could be, or do better.  He told me often "This, too, shall pass".  I've repeated those words a lot this year.  I only wish he could have believed them a little more.  I still hear him whispering them in my ear on bad days.

9- Ogema Baptist Church and its members.  Until this year I've disliked living up here.  I didn't know many people and I'm shy until I get to know people.  But the moment I walked into that church I felt like I finally belonged.  People went out of their way to introduce themselves, to make me feel welcome and to include me.  They have walked with me, prayed for me, and helped me through everything I've been through this year.  Some taking me to doctor appointments even though I was virtually a stranger.  Bringing me meals when it was difficult for me to get around.  Taking care of my animals when I stayed with my sister after dad died.  Making sure I came home to a clean house.  Offering to watch the kids so I could have breaks and rest when I needed it.  The list goes on.  They, too, have helped strengthen my faith in God and Jesus through their own faith.  Being around them and seeing and hearing their faith makes me want to be closer to Jesus too.  "There is something to be said about being a good person" and the people there really are. 

(to be continued....)

Nothing better than free....

A month or so ago the power company cut a path under all the power lines. They delimbed all the trees they cut and chipped all the small stuff. We cut up the few trees they cut down in our yard. Lots of the neighbors have trees cut on their properties too that will probably be left to rot. Ryan stopped by some and asked if they knew who owned the property across from them. They told him a lady from Florida owns it and they watch the property for her. She hasn't been up in 4 or 5 years. Ryan asked if we could cut up and take the down trees for firewood. They appreciated that he asked. They were expecting someone to steal it during the night. There is quite a bit of hardwood. They gave Ryan permission to take it. We spent most of the day Saturday cutting wood, throwing it in the trailer, and hauling it home with the tractor. The boys had lots of fun helping and playing in the mud puddles. Danica took a long nap and played in the car for the little while she was awake.















And we added a new baby to the farm. Ryan brought it home in a gunny sack in his Saturn.

"Speed Bump"

Doesn't it just figure.  Life seems to be going great. You are meeting goals you set for yourself. Everything just seems to be falling into place and WHAM something happens or comes up that throws a wrench into everything.  We seem to be at that point.  I've been dealing with some pain in my knees for about 6 weeks.  I inherited my mother's grace (or rather, lack of).  I assumed I had over-worked them doing chores in the deep snow...or somehow managed to sprain them.  Instead of getting better despite working through the pain or resting them, they continued to get worse.  Climbing the stairs to our bedrooms was excruciating.  I dreaded going to the bathroom because it hurt so bad to get back up.  Finally after a yearly doctor exam two weeks ago, Monday, I made time to go to the urgent care center to have my knees checked.  My left knee was extremely swollen, full of fluid, and warm to the touch.  The doctor asked me a few questions and said he felt it was some sort of infection in my knee rather than an injury.  He ordered a handful of blood labs and referred me to the rheumetologist. After I had 6 tubes of blood drawn I made my appointment for Wednesday afternoon.  Over the next 24 hours my left knee continued to swell. On Tuesday the urgent care doctor called with my lab results.  They indicated I may have Lyme Disease?  I was shocked.  I hadn't had a tick that I remembered being on for any length of time. Living in the country and being outside as much as we are we're very diligent about always checking the kids and ourselves everyday after being outside.  I had also never had the tell-tale bullseye rash that we are told to watch for.  After some research it seems only 50% of Lyme patients get such a rash and because the tick that carries Lyme is so tiny, most people never know they had a tick until they start showing Lyme Disease symptoms.

The first stage of Lyme Disease happens in the first 1 to 4 weeks.  This stage is the early localized reaction.  Symptoms may include: A circular bullseye looking rash that gets larger with time.  Lack of energy, which is the most common symptom. Headache and stiff neck. Fever and chills. Muscle and joint pain. Swollen lymph nodes.  Some people who get Lyme will not notice any of these first symptoms. Not everyone gets the rash and the other symptoms are brushed off as the flu.
After getting the call that Lyme Disease was indicated I started researching to see what other symptoms I had in the past that I missed. Sure enough after reading the first list of symptoms I could recall have joint pain in my hands, wrists, and shoulders during the summer even though at the time I couldn't remember an actual injury. I thought I just slept on them wrong or something to that extent. Eventually they got better and I forgot about them.
I read on to Stage 2.  Stage 2 is called the Early disseminated infection and happens around 1 to 4 months.  Symptoms at this stage may include: Being tired. Additional skin rashes in several places on your body that develop as the infection spreads. Pain, weakness, or numbness in the arms or legs. Inability to control the muscles of the face (paralysis of the facial nerves). Recurring headaches or fainting. Poor memory and reduced ability to concentrate. Conjunctivitis (pinkeye) or sometimes damage to deep tissue in the eyes. Occasional rapid heartbeats (palpitations) or, in rare cases, serious heart problems.
This stage I could recall specifics about.  In August I developed a horrible rash on my feet.  I COULD.NOT.STOP.ITCHING! I thought it was athletes foot and self treated with over the counter medications.  It did not get better and eventually developed into a large splotchy rash up my legs to my thighs.  My family doctor diagnosed me with eczema and prescribed a steroid cream.  It didn't help but the rash eventually got better on its own.  I started getting headaches on an almost daily basis.  I thought it was possibly a hormonal imbalance because I had also been diagnosed with post partum depression and an anxiety disorder.   I was also exhausted all the time but I have a baby who is still up frequently at night due to teething so I thought nothing of it even though it usually didn't matter whether I slept well or not.  I was always tired.
And finally this is where I'm at now.
The 3rd stage called Late Stage Lyme Infection. Symptoms at this stage may include: Swelling and pain (inflammation) in the joints, especially in the knees. Numbness and tingling in the hands, feet, or back. Severe fatigue. Partial facial nerve paralysis, which usually occurs within the first few months after the tick bite. Neurological changes, including problems with memory, mood, or sleep, and sometimes problems speaking. Chronic Lyme arthritis, which causes recurring episodes of swelling, redness, and fluid buildup in one or more joints that last up to 6 months at a time.
The knee pain and swelling being my biggest symptom.  I had also mentioned to Ryan a week or so ago that I felt like I had pregnancy brain again.  I was forgetting little things, misplacing things and just had a general mental fogginess.  I blamed it on my extra tiredness.



The urgent care doctor started me on Amoxicillian 500mg every 6 hours. Doxycycline

Friday morning, while I was getting ready upstairs Sawyer jumped over the gate we use between the living room and kitchen so Danica can't get near the wood stove.  What I didn't hear was the gate actually fell.  Sawyer came up to talk to me and as he turned around to go back down he started talking to Danica who had managed to make it up the stairs.  Before I could get to her I heard her fall.  I picked her up to find blood dripping from her mouth.  She nursed and stopped crying.  She caught the inside of her lip with her teeth and had a fat lip but didn't need stitches thank goodness.  It was a very rough morning.



Shortly after a friend from church picked up me and the kids.  We dropped of Sawyer at "Grandpa" Victor's house.  Then we headed down to Marshfield for my appointment.  She took Danica shopping with her while I was seen by the doctor.  The doctor tried to remove some of the fluid from my knee but because of the inflammation and infection I could feel every time she pulled back on the syringe.  She got enough fluid to send to the lab so they could confirm the Lyme.  She said the antibiotics should start helping soon.  I scheduled a follow up appointment for 3 weeks later.

Friday night during the night I had to get up with Danica only to find I could barely walk.  My other knee was also swollen and painful.  By morning I was in tears.  I called my mom and asked her to come and get me in the kids.  There was no way I could take care of them.

Both the boys were so helpful.  Sawyer got me clothes and diapers for Danica so I could get her changed while I laid on the couch.  They both picked up all their toys.  Landon vacuumed the living room and made him and Sawyer peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.  My mom and step dad got here shortly after.  They did chores for me and helped pack up some clothes and we left for their house.



Of course, not to be outdone by Danica, Sawyer fell outside at Grandma's shortly after we got there. Thankfully, even though there was much blood and tears, no stitches.



By Sunday the pain and swelling was even worse.  I called the on call doctor who prescribed me Prednisone which helps with inflammation and suggested I wean Danica so I could go on the stronger antibiotic I mentioned before, Doxycyclene.  Within 24 hours of starting the Prednisone the knee pain was much better.  I was still sore by the afternoon but not in the excruciating pain I was before.  On Tuesday the swelling and pressure still hadn't gotten better and Danica was down to just one nursing at night occasionally.  ( I had been working on weaning her down with all the pain medications I was on already)  I called my doctor and she called in the prescription for Doxycycline.  She told me she had a lady with Lyme Arthritis as bad as me earlier in the winter.  Once she started the Doxycycline the fluid and pain got better within 3 days.



Wednesday I came home with Sawyer and Danica and was pretty sore, swollen, and stiff.  We went to bed early.  Danica slept in the playpen and Sawyer and I slept on the spare bed in the playroom.  Thursday we had a very lazy day in our jammies.  Someone from church brought over lasagna, homemade spaghetti sauce and noodles, and two loaves of bread and Ryan's mom came over to do chores again.  Friday we had another lazy day.  I was really having terrible headaches on top of my knee problems.  I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed a new pain medicine and mailed it out to me. Ryan got home about supper time and I was able to rest the entire evening on the couch with my knee up.  He made supper and took care of the kids.  Yesterday morning I woke up with much less swelling and fluid which of course I took advantage of.  Today I'm sore and stiff again but not nearly as bad as it has been.  I'm confident I'm on the upswing now.  Ryan will be home for the week to make sure I have help while I keep recuperating.  Hopefully by the time he leaves I will be mostly back to myself. 

My pill regimen...yuck!

Getting ready...

We're getting ready for our "busy season".  When the weather gets warmer and the snow starts to melt, we go into overdrive around here.  There are fences to be checked and fixed because the beefers start to wander further from the round bale.  (Ryan got the 4-wheeler stuck in the snow on the back fenceline and had to pull it out with the pick-up. But don't tell him I told you)  

We like to get firewood cut early before it gets too hot (like last year). 

And thanks to Price County Electric Cooperative we can now see to the neighbors house.

  Not too happy about that. 

The chickens and other various poultry get to come out of the coop and free range again.

And of course the yard is a big, soupy, sloppy, muddy, mess. Which inevitably leads to this...

And then this...

And finally..

Before that, he did help Daddy unload the two round bales from the back of the truck.

(Ryan says I'm supposed to let you know this is why you buy a Chevy, but I was raised a Ford girl so I'm not going to make it a big deal.)

The beefers were right on that.

Sawyer and Daddy had some fun.

Danica and I enjoyed the fresh air too.