27 has been a rough year. At one of our women's prayer groups we talked about looking for things to be thankful for even in the tough, trying times. We were supposed to read a book called
One Thousand Gifts. The week after I got the book dad took his life. I couldn't bring myself to read it. But through all of that and this knee surgery I've had it in the back of my mind. I hope the ladies are still passing it around because I think I'm ready to read it. When Jayne (the one leading our prayer group) described the book to us she said the author had fallen away from God somewhat (much like myself for awhile) and then someone dared her to make a list of one thousand gifts from God even in the midst of some horrible things she'd been through.
From Amazon.com - Just like you, Ann Voskamp hungers to live her one life well. Forget the bucket lists that have us escaping our everyday lives for exotic experiences. 'How,' Ann wondered, 'do we find joy in the midst of deadlines, debt, drama, and daily duties? What does the Christ-life really look like when your days are gritty, long--and sometimes even dark? How is God even here?' In One Thousand Gifts, Ann invites you to embrace everyday blessings and embark on the transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling God's gifts. It's only in this expressing of gratitude for the life we already have, we discover the life we've always wanted...a life we can take, give thanks for, and break for others.
So today on my 28th birthday I'm starting my list. I will add to it periodically.
1- God led me to a church and a pastor who believes and preaches what I have believed in my heart for a long time. He knew it would renew and restrengthen my faith. So I would be closer to Him when things got really bad this year.
2- Because of the hard things that have happened this year my love for Ryan has become deeper than I could have ever imagined. He knows me more perfectly than I ever realized or could have hoped for. When to be my rock and when to let me do my thing. When to push me a little further than I'd like to go and when to help even
when I'm being stubborn and hard headed if I think I can do it on my own. I can't imagine how I could love him more.
3- Landon, my big boy, is so helpful. He is my right hand man. Helping unquestioningly (most of the time) with chores, household duties, even changing diapers. If he doesn't know how to do something he's willing to try. I've seen him grow so much this year. From one of my 3 babies to my oldest son, a young man already.
4- Sawyer, my baby boy, knows just when I need someone to crawl into my lap for a snuggle. He, too, has grown up so much this year and is the big boy, helping, when Landon isn't here.
5- Danica, my little mini me. I wanted a little girl so bad. I think she pulls every clip and bow I put in her hair out just to spite me. She truly is my joy. She is always happy and never fails to put a smile on my face even when I think there can't possibly be a smile anywhere inside of me.
6- Amber, Heather, and Jake. My sisters and brother. I can't even put into words tonight how thankful I am for the way we grew up. Its a very long, not so great story that tore us apart and brought us together, many times over, until we finally realized the four of us were what we would always need. Who we could count on to be there unconditionally...if we needed to cry, a hundred dollars to get us to pay day, someone to stand vigil at our hospital bedside, to bail us out of jail at 3am, someone to laugh about turd fishing in the tub with, or to hide a body (just joking...sorta) That childhood prepared us for this year. For July 21st. When all the world crashed around us we stood strong together. When it was too much for one of us, the rest of us held that one up. Truly all for one and one for all in every sense of the words.
7- My Mom! Who would have ever thought that I would be HER mini me? My mom and I have quite the history. I'm not going to go into that either. Today she and I can complete each other's thoughts. We are so much alike its scary. When no one else seems to understand I can call Mom and I don't even have to finish a sentence and she knows just what I'm feeling and just what to say. Funny how when I was younger I thought there was no way we could be more different.
8- My Dad ~ He always said "There is something to be said about being a good person" I hope when I die people think I'm half the good person he was. That lesson is why I help people unconditionally, without expectations. Why I forgive so easily. Why I trust people more than they sometimes deserve. Why I work so hard and strive to do the best I can. And why I'm hard on myself when I know I could be, or do better. He told me often "This, too, shall pass". I've repeated those words a lot this year. I only wish he could have believed them a little more. I still hear him whispering them in my ear on bad days.
9- Ogema Baptist Church and its members. Until this year I've disliked living up here. I didn't know many people and I'm shy until I get to know people. But the moment I walked into that church I felt like I finally belonged. People went out of their way to introduce themselves, to make me feel welcome and to include me. They have walked with me, prayed for me, and helped me through everything I've been through this year. Some taking me to doctor appointments even though I was virtually a stranger. Bringing me meals when it was difficult for me to get around. Taking care of my animals when I stayed with my sister after dad died. Making sure I came home to a clean house. Offering to watch the kids so I could have breaks and rest when I needed it. The list goes on. They, too, have helped strengthen my faith in God and Jesus through their own faith. Being around them and seeing and hearing their faith makes me want to be closer to Jesus too. "There is something to be said about being a good person" and the people there really are.
(to be continued....)
